On the healing journey, it’s helpful to name the behaviors we’ve endured or witnessed that are the opposites of love. Withdrawing, withholding, punishing with the silent treatment, and pressuring are not love. Minimizing, discounting, ridiculing, accusing, blaming, scapegoating, and manipulating are not love. Making a joke at another’s expense is not love. Yelling, threatening, humiliating, and name-calling are not love. Belittling, condescending, and patronizing are not love.
If you’re not sure of the meaning of one or more terms, look them up. Lots of free, excellent resources exist online.
A future post will cover what love looks like and feels like, but for now, see if you can characterize the unloving behaviors of your childhood home and other environments like extended family gatherings, schools, or religious settings.
Physician, Get Healed 